Celebrity Farce

The last time that David and Victoria Beckham did an ad for Emporio Armani, I thought that it was a little lack-luster. They didn’t seem really ‘into’ each other, they were barely touching and all in all, it just fell a little flat for me. But now they’ve gone and done another one and I must say, it’s pretty hot. Weird. But hot. In this ad Victoria lies across her man with her hair in some kind of funky do while David has some kind of weird grimace on his face. Maybe that’s because he’s lying on a huge hunk of rope.

Victoria does also look like she’s not really at the shoot mentally but that’s pretty normal with any type of modeling as it’s supposed to be about the clothes and not the pretty faces. I’m sure though that Emporio Armani realizes that when it’s David and Victoria, the faces are just too pretty - you have to look. Great shot, way better than the ones they came out with in January! Thanks to Celebrity Dirty Laundry for the pic!

It has been two years since Alec Baldwin called his daughter a rude, thoughtless little pig, and his even more thoughtful ex-wife played it for all the media (and the world) to hear. At the time, I really didn’t understand what everyone was so up in arms about and I still don’t. Ireland, Alec’s daughter, was being a snotty little 11-year-old at the time and Alec reacted with anger, as any parent would. Yes, it was a heated discussion but no, Alec probably didn’t actually mean that he thought his daughter was a pig and she probably even knew that at the time.

Alec made no apologies for it at the time, although he did explain himself to the media, and he’s still not making any apologies for it now. He’s actually doing the exact opposite by writing a book about it. And whether or not he was right at the time, I think he’s definitely right on his latest thoughts. From the National Enquirer,

“He’s no Dr. Spock - but that isn’t stopping “30 Rock” star Alec Baldwin from writing a book - about parenting!

The actor, long embroiled in nasty family turmoil involving his daughter, recently told an interviewer: “It will be ironic for some people, but I’m going to write a parenting book.

“We’re at… an awful place right now in terms of parenting. Kids have too much power and call too many of the shots, telling their parents what they will and won’t do.”

…Alec thinks modern parents have gone soft, and he blames the bad economy and other social stresses for pulling them away from their kids.

“We live in stressful times,” Alec said. “People come home, walk up the driveway, put the key in the door, and they can’t do another hard job. Parenting your children effectively is a tough job.”

Said a source close to the Emmy-winning actor: “He really believes he can help other people with their parenting problems because he’s been through the whole thing himself - the good, the bad and the ugly. And he’s a lot more learned and loving as a result.”

I think Alec hit the nail right on the head with that one and I am so glad that someone is finally standing up and saying so! I often think that I am way too hard on my kids. Until I go to the grocery store and there’s a kid in the aisle who’s throwing things at his mother and insulting her while she just stands there looking helpless. There are many, many good parents out there but there are far more bad ones. I’m glad Alec’s not one of them and I’m even more glad that he’s willing to blow the whistle on those that are. Unfortunately, they’ll probably never hear it because parents who don’t want to raise their kids properly don’t generally read parenting books.

File this under: Why are humans the dominant species on earth?!

If this story isn’t a good reason to start drinking rubbing alcohol and vodka on a Saturday afternoon, then I don’t know what is….

At a park in Cambridge, Maryland on Monday, a bitch named Candy Michelle Vignari, gave birth to a baby girl….in a Port-A-Potty. Get ready to launch “Awww…Hell Naw” from the tip of your tongue, because it gets much worse. After the baby was born, Candy put her inside the caca-filled toilet, went outside and asked a construction worker for a cigarette. And we have lift-off!

The construction workers knew something in the milk wasn’t clean when they noticed Candy covered in blood and womb jelly. When one of the workers tried to go into the Port-A-Potty, Candy told them not to because there was a baby in there. The police were called.

One of the workers said, “Right as the cops had pulled up I had seen her go back into the port-a-potty real quick grabbed a towel at the time I didn’t know what it was and then she comes over to the cops and the cops grabbed the baby.“

Candy was arrested and charged with child abuse and reckless endangerment. The baby is currently in stable condition at a local hospital.

It’s too bad that the baby didn’t know what was about to go down, because she could’ve pulled out Candy’s uterus as she was sliding out so this fuckery doesn’t happen again! I mean, this was unnecessary! All Candy had to do was bring the baby out and scream, “BABEH 4 SALEZ.” Both St. Angelina Jolie and Vadge would’ve magically appeared with their checkbooks in hand.

Source (Thanks Tanya)

The Bang Bang Lady and The Boom Boom Girl - Happy Fourth of July, hos! If you plan to celebrate by doing firework stuff today, I suggest you get in your car (or take the next Chinatown bus) to Phenix City, Alabama and ask for The Bang Bang Lady or The Boom Boom Girl to assist you with all your sparkly needs. Also, maybe you should let The Boom Boom Girl know that in certain circles her nickname means “prostitution whore.” Actually, maybe that’s what they are really selling over there! Buy 1 and get a finger bang bang and a bagina boom boom for free! It is the American way.

And if you are an American, it is your duty to watch all of their commercials. Actually, if you are a citizen of the world, it is your duty to watch this shit! That’s Hawwwwwt!

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